INTERIOR FLOATATION WORLD

                                                                                Santa Cruz de Tenerife - 22nd August 2011

By Robert Maher

Upon my arrival I was greeted by Ismail, who immediately put me at ease with his warm and friendly demeanor. I was seated comfortably on the picturesque patio, facing the floation room in serene surroundings. Ismail escorted me through to the floatation room and offered me a choice of themes to experience ie. swimming with dolphins, Africa, visiting the planets etc. I chose complete darkness without sound as I wanted to be at one with myself without distraction, the ultimate in floatation meditation. With it's high salt content, the pool replicates the dead sea in terms of clients being able to float effortlessly. Ismail advised me to lay on my back and relax in the water, resting my head completely. He instructed me to concentrate on my breathing, inhale through the nose and exhale from the mouth. I was then left to experience a hightened state of tranquility and relaxation. The temperature of the liquid matches that of your body which fools the brain, leaving you unable to distinguish between areas of your body submerged in the water from parts of your body which are not. This results in a floating on air sensation,  a euphoric dream-like experience.

While floating, I was able to extend my arms and legs outwards, forming a relaxed star position. The temperature of the water is cosily warm and I felt lighter and at peace with myself. Tension and stress literally vacated my body, as I continued to float without a care in the world. Over the next hour or so, I felt as though I was sleeping while awake, sensations of calm and happiness enveloped me. Once my floatation experience was complete, I took a shower and my skin appeared to be wrinkle free. I then relaxed on a soft and comfortable sofa underneath the blue sky and discussed my float with Ismail. Together, we also practiced Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), which are used to promote general well being and aid positive thinking. I would describe this as a therapy session, during which I was given some very useful tools to take away with me. Techniques and exercises to help me relax, stay positive, feel good and achieve my goals in life. The starting point is letting go of all the nonsense, excess baggage and negative thoughts we carry around with us like a heavy trunk. Our emotions follow our thoughts, therefore it is crucial to think positively if we endeavour to feel good. For our mind, body and spirit to stay fit, we must practice these exercises regularly, akin to mental press ups.

Visiting the 'Interior Floatation World' is a great way to 'let go' and relax, rejuvenate mentally, emotionally and physically. If you want, like me, you will also be given some very useful tools to take home with you. When practiced, these techniques will enhance your mental and spiritual health, which in turn promotes physical well being. Following the actual floatation, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, I also felt happy and relaxed for a sustained period. Therefore, I would highly recommend floatation meditation to anyone and everyone. A visit to the 'Interior Floatation World' in Tenerife is a truly rewarding experience, not to be missed.

REMATCH? TOE BE OR NOT TOE BE?

By Robert Maher.

Three days have transpired since the big heavyweight title unification bout in Hamburg and we are back to square one. David Haye is calling out Wladimir Klitschko, has anything really changed? After all the big talk beforehand, the Hayemaker lost by a wide margin points verdict, after which he cried injury. A broken hand? a dislocated shoulder? no, a broken little toe. David had promised in the weeks preceding the bout that he would brutally destruct the big robot, put boxing back on the map and decapitate Klitschko. This would have been achieved of course, were it not for David's poorly little toe. I am afraid this explanation for a lacklustre display has backfired on Mr Haye. A few days ago this man was a hero, now he is being portrayed as a fraudster, a fake, a chump who conned his adoring British public on many levels. Perhaps Haye can be forgiven, in failing to make good on his knockout victory pre-fight prediction. Boxers and sportsmen in general need to be supremely confident and believe in their own abilities. This stereotypical rhetoric puts bums on seats, increases pay per view subscriptions and gets under the opponents skin, the latter either being to the perpetrators gain or indeed misfortune. However, Haye told the world he was in the best physical shape and in peak condition. Then, loses the fight and emerges as a crippled ex champ with a broken toe, an injury sustained three weeks prior to the biggest fight of his career.

David, you have short changed the public, those fans who placed their bets on a Haye win, not knowing you had a serious physical impairment. You could have pulled out of the bout with injury, the fight would have been postponed, not cancelled. How can we believe a single word you say now David? Is all your diatribe a smokescreen? propaganda? designed to manipulate your adoring public as well as your ring adversary. Ok, Hindsight is a wonderful thing, Haye pulled out with injury in the past and lost considerable face because of it. His local anaesthetic had worked in training but supposedly not for this championship contest. So maybe he's the no.3 heavyweight in the world now, behind Wladimir Klitschko and his older sibling Vitali, that does not make him a bum. In reality, Haye showed extraordinary courage to even get in the ring with Klitschko, giving away 2 stone in weight, 4 inches in height and considerable reach. Haye took some full blooded shots from Wladimir and never looked like going down or being knocked out. He showed great speed, a rock solid chin and lion-hearted courage.

Boxing is primarily a business as opposed to a sport, money dictates. The heavyweight division is currently devoid of great talent and charismatic personalities. In terms of a rematch, this could work in David Hayes favour. A return match is indeed probable despite the conclusive points defeat suffered by Haye. Who else is there for Wladimir Klitschko to fight? his own brother? that will never happen. David has talent, good looks, personality and a big mouth. Even better, an injury to blame for his defeat. So here we go folks, prepare yourselves for the rematch, Wembley stadium awaits. As does a multi million pound purse for the engaging pugilists. Haye may have to concede parity this time and accept a 70/30 split in favour of the Ukrainian. Heavyweight history says that next time, Haye will lose again, albeit more convincingly. However, one punch can change everything and turn almost certain defeat into victory. This could happen in round one or round twelve, in such a case the scorecards become redundant. As for the two-faced facebookers and arm chair tweeters, who execute their uneducated verbal swipes from the vantage point of hindsight, most have never laced on a glove in their lives and would lack the intestinal fortitude. Maybe they too should sample a slice of humble pie as well as the Hayemaker. A few days ago he was king in your eyes and now you reduce him to a second rate pretender. Says more about you than David Haye, who in reality is a world class high achiever in the toughest of sports.

I must say, David did nothing to endear his supporters by delaying his ring entrance at the Imtech outdoor arena by ten minutes, made worse by the fact it was raining on the fans. At the time, Sky commentators reported this delay as being deliberate psychological warfare from Haye. Allegedly, Klitschko had planned to keep Haye waiting for ten minutes in the ring prior to emerging from his own dressing room, payback for David turning up late for an earlier press conference. Haye now claims the prolonged wait was down to him receiving a second local anaesthetic injection in his foot. David also runs the risk of alienating his followers with his constant complaining to the referee. A ploy that cost Wladimir initially with a point deduction for leaning on his opponent, only to backfire on Haye, who would later receive a count for an illegitimate knockdown by way of retribution. So prepare yourselves for super fight no.2, let's hope more combination punches will be thrown from both protagonists next time around.

ROCKY BALBOA

By Robert Maher

When I first heard that Sylvester Stallone was making yet another Rocky film, I laughed to myself. I couldn't conceive how the movie was going to have any credibility. After all, Stallone seemed to have lost the plot in Rocky 5 and he is now sixty years of age. I anticipated this latest installment would be something of an inadvertent comedy. However, driven by curiosity and a sentimental attachment to the early Rocky movies, I ventured down to the cinema on saturday night for a late showing. Jaded, following two consecutive twelve hour shifts, I stumbled into screen 1 barely retaining my bucket of popcorn and diet coke. I found my seat, took a deep breath and regained my composure.

The Opening scene shows current heavyweight champ Mason Dixon successfully defending his title in a one-sided no thrills affair. The commentary team discuss the current poor state of the lack-lustre heavyweight division and cry out for a meaningful Dixon title defence against a passionate challenger. The undeniably skilful Mason reigns superior but without a serious rival remains an unknown quantity in the courage department. Meanwhile Rocky is struggling to come to terms with the death of his beloved wife Adrian. She passed away years earlier but Balboa is clearly still grieving. In moving scenes he visits her grave and the old neighbourhood in Philadelphia to reminisce about the good times, pausing by old haunts which include the pet shop and Mickey's gym. Rocky, now retired from boxing runs an Italian restaurant aptly named 'Adrian's'. He entertains diners with fight tales from a bygone age and cuts a sad though charismatic figure. A tv sports network discuss how champions from differen't era's would fare against each other. They pit Balboa against current champ Dixon in a simulated computer fight. The fantasy cyber match results in Rocky winning the bout via knock-out. This gets Balboa's juices flowing and the italian stallion contemplates a low-key comeback against small scale opposition. Mason's promoters have other ideas and generate public interest in a real Dixon versus Balboa exhibition match in fight capital Las Vegas. Rocky, against the advice of his son and Paulie can't resist. Determined to prove the last thing a fighter loses is his heart and anxious to get the demons out of his system, Rocky signs the fight contract. Out comes the famous grey tracksuit as Balboa embarks on a punishing training regime.

But this movie provides far more than just a pugilistic punch. It's about life's hard knocks, relationships, death, growing old and letting go of the past. Rocky has a new woman in his life, little Marie from the old neighbourhood, played by Geraldine Hughes. In the original Rocky, Marie was a lost and abusive teenager whom Rocky tried to help. Marie, now a single mother with a child of her own is re-united with Rocky. The dialogue in this film effortlessly fluctuates from hard-hitting to humorous. A movie which is simplistic yet intelligent. Proving that a film can entertain without special effects or complicated twists in the plot. Bill Conti's musical score is inspiring as always and the casting quite magnificent. Many of us grew up with the Rocky character, he has something of an iconic status. The working class underdog who achieves the american dream against seemingly insurmountable odds. It's easy to scoff at the idea of Balboa climbing back through the ropes but it's really no more ludicrous than George Foreman and Larry Holmes staging comeback's as over-weight grandfathers. Foreman actually regained the world championship during his second time around.

Despite Balboa's age, Rocky 6 is perversely more realistic than Rocky 4 and 5. The role of Dixon is played by former light-heavyweight champion of the world Antonio Tarver. Tarver's ring credentials lend an invaluable authenticity to the film and indeed the actual bout against Rocky itself. Stallone also respectfully pays homage to the earlier films. Wonderful to once again witness Balboa running up those famous steps in Philadelphia. Also a pleasure to see Burt Young (Paulie) and Tony Burton (Duke) back on the big screen. My one criticism would be that Duke (Rocky's trainer) has too small a part in the movie. However, Sylvester Stallone has certainly done justice to the Rocky legacy with this final farewell. He can now hang up his gloves as the undisputed champion of boxing movies. 'Rocky Balboa' is a writing, directing and acting knock-out. "Yo Adrian, we did it".

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH

Latest evictee from BB, 7th July 2006

By Robert Maher

And the most obnoxious woman of the week award goes to Lea, Big Brother's latest evictee. This woman has a mouth like a sewer and she embraces vulgarity with the same passion as a fly embracing excrement. "Why did you go into the house", Davina asked. "Cos I wanted to show that blondes with big tits aren't pieces of sh..", came the crass response. Lea, an ex porn star with ridiculously large breasts, endorsed the very worst negative stereo-types associated with busty blonde cosmetic surgery loving porn stars. Every time she opens her mouth, filthy expletives fly out. Much like Jodie Marsh, (former celeb bb housemate) she supposedly entered the house to change her image and alter the public perception of big breasted glamour models.

During their time in the house Jodie and Lea cavorted around like street walkers in kings cross and spoke of nothing but sex in the crudest and rudest fashion. Forever using words like cock, spunk, fuck, pussy, etc, etc, their families must be so proud. As well as demonstrating her verbal vulgarity Lea simulated a sex act with a carrot and a toilet brush. The rest of her time in the house was spent crying and whingeing. Her sickly self absorbed poor me routines matched only with her unhealthy obsession with Pete, made for repulsive viewing. Lea claims to be thirty five years old, she probably was ten years ago.

The sad thing is I fear this woman will be a role model to many in this era of ladette culture, where filthy, loud, crude and obnoxious behaviour is often viewed as a sign of strength, independence and liberation. Truth is Jodie and Lea have effortlessly contributed more to the degradation and devaluation of women than any man or porn film director ever could. They have done this by simply being themselves ie. unintelligent, common, repulsive and repugnant. The pair of them are always spouting off about what a hard life they have endured and how badly everyone has treated them, me, me, me, me, me. These self-centred emotional wrecks are shallow minded, self obsessed and disgusting. Can we not allocate more air-time to positive role models, women of intellectual gravitas and depth. Ladies whom girls can truly admire and aspire to follow, as opposed to these two a penny whores seeking celebrity status without merit, dignity, pride nor integrity.

OH DANNY BOY, MR. KIPLING'S CALLING.

Big fight live, ITV - 8th July 2006

By Robert Maher

Saturday's big fight live on ITV was nothing short of a joke. Britain's best two heavyweight's squared up for the commonwealth title and bored us silly with an embarrassing spectacle. Danny Williams gave the fight away to Skelton when he decided to gorge himself on cakes an biscuits and under-train in preparation for this world title elimination bout. It's blatantly obvious that Danny's heart is not in boxing. I understand it was his dad's dream and not his own that he become a world heavyweight champion. Sadly Williams is neither passionate, disciplined nor committed to fulfilling this dream. Instead he turned up grossly over-weight at 20 st 81b, two stone and five pounds heavier than his opponent. Danny ponderously stalked around the ring like a man treading through a swamp, occasionally falling over himself. He always looks as though he is heavily sedated, no emotion or urgency on his face. The worst possible advert for trainer Jim Mcdonnel, a so-called mind man ie. psychological motivator. I feel Jim would have more success with athletes who are at least semi-conscious. Frankly I thought I was watching Mr. Blobby sleep walking tonight. In fact a fight with Mr. Blobby could be Danny's rehabilitation bout in this current climate of heavyweight chumps.
And the new commonwealth heavyweight champion is Matt Skelton, so what!

Skelton, a former kick boxer, 39 years of age, has no finesse and fight's like a novice. Although Matt lacks in the skill and technique department, he does have heart and determination. To give him some credit he apparently trains hard for fight's and clearly has desire, fitness and a will to win. However the fact remains that tonight's farce was detrimental to the sport of boxing and an insult to the memory of great heavyweight bouts of old, Ali versus Frazier, this was not.

GIVING TENNIS THE ELBOW

Monday 26th June 2006

By Robert Maher

Hooray! it's Wimbledon again, time for robinson's squash, strawberries and cream and a whole five minutes of play. Yes folks, the Monty Python-esque farce is back. Each year we suffer the same ridiculous fate of match postponements and hideous intervals in play due to rain. Just as we're contemplating renewing our prescription of prozac, sir Cliff Richard arises from his seat to entertain us with a self- indulgent medley of counterfeit rock and roll, mine's a morphine and coke please. Cue the frustrating television replays of McEnroe, Connors and Bjorg, reminding us of a time when tennis players actually possessed personalities.

Ok, James Murray is at times slightly animated on court, but have you heard the man being interviewed? My bag of sprouts have more charisma. Back to the actual sport, rallies are scarce and most of our time is spent watching the bouncing of a ball preceding a serve which ultimately hits the net or lands out! A successful serve is rarely returned thanks to the micro-fibre, post-modernistic, high-tech, anti-inflammable rackets. And so and so has just notched up his 84th ace of the competition, murmur the stuffy commentary team. Bring back wooden rackets and the ball will not travel as fast, resulting in prolonged actual play. Let us once again truly embrace the science of tennis and subsequently delight in the artistry of it's practitioners.

I also strongly suggest the construction of a re-tractable roof. These rain delays are not only a joke, but entirely unnecessary too. It's high time the Wimbledon lawn tennis association moved with the times and got with the programme so to speak.

DON'T MENTION THE WAR

Sunday 25th June 2006

By Robert Maher

The football hooligan brigade are at it again. Two hundred English supposed football supporters were arrested in Stuttgart last night following ugly clashes with German fans. After Germany's victory over Sweden, tensions reached boiling point. I'm sure the majority of supporters set out for Germany with good intentions. For many it is a trip of a life-time, a chance to be a part of the greatest sporting event in the world. Sadly these occasions are inevitably marred by a moronic minority who frankly should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Typically tatooed, obese, beer guzzling, kebab gobbling buffons who bring nothing but shame on football. Effortlessly endorsing all the negative stereo-types associated with English males when abroad.

Sport should be about unity, enjoyment and jubilation. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy rivalry and harmless banter. I'm all for fan sing-alongs and national pride but find thuggery and yobbishness totally unacceptable forms of behaviour. The throwing of bottles, tables and chairs combined with generous offerings of vulgar abuse is nothing short of disgusting. It's hard to conceive how grown men can behave in such a juvenile and pathetic way. Hopefully the police will carry out their intention to only release these arrested imbeciles after today's England v Ecuador match, meaning they will at least miss out on watching that particular game.